R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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