I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
