i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
