She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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