I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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