she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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