carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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