Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
