I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
