hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
