Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
