we're blogging at a bar
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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