party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize