Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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