On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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