he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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