I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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