Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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