I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
