Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
