so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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