he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
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