We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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