i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
And then he peed in my hair
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