i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
