you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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