The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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