Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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