How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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