Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
