either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
