Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
