butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
