I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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