My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
