you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
