those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Still dying that you shit outside
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
