so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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