I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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