What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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