Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Randomize
