garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
