Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
