oh god the rape fog is back!
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
