and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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