K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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