bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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