boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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