That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
