yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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