What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize