There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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