roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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