I just cut my nipple shaving
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
