She's JV to your varsity
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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