my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
