Fuck appropriateness.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
