at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
