You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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