I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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