I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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