i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
